[Seraphic Side-Projects & Ostentatious Manifestations Of Individual Dexterity]

Seraphic Side-Projects & Ostentatious Manifestations Of Individual Dexterity



Often in bands and musical groups ideas come flying in from all angles with a high degree of velocity kind of like a bukkake without the shame. Just look at the amount of producers Justin Bieber, Kanye West, Kylie Minogue, Britney Spears, Madonna, Rihanna and all those other guys have sticking their thumbs in the pie and collectively molesting it as if they were the clergy. Talk about too many fluffers on the set. 
Then you have those like Dave Mustaine or Steve Harris who rule their musical projects with an iron fist with no deviation from a set formula despite the changes in the spiritus mundi and the shifting of astral planes and all that kind Platonic gobbledegook. Gobbledegook that dictates trends. 
This is where side projects come in. Playing for one band and doing dates all around the world from Detroit to Danzig can get tiring playing the same ten or so songs then feigning to walk off stage and then coming back out half blootered to play an encore for another ten minutes and then leaving to rapturous applause. 
It gives artists an opportunity to have a look at alternative styles to varying degrees of success that don’t always result in the spritz, tits, glitz and glamour (see Brian Wilson’s rapping career after his days munching tabs like they were tic tacs) and this list can raise the curtain on some of the better attempts at these bards going it alone and dichotomizing from their main musical projects. Or even going solo and outstripping or at least matching the heights of their previous band somewhere in the euphonious stratosphere.


Ozzy Osbourne




Where to start with this man? With the time he bit the unsuspecting noggin off a bat on stage, or the time he bit the unsuspecting noggin off a dove in a meeting or the time he momentarily decided on a career on interior design and painted the walls in shark blood? Being one of the most ostentatious members of the heavy metal fraternity which includes such depraved luminaries as Nikki Sixx and Lemmy Kilmister this indicates a fun loving character to say the very least.

On being given the ass from Black Sabbath one could be forgiven for thinking that he’d do a Dale Evans and disappear into the stygian blackness of relative anonymity and opening a pub or something. But our Ozzy isn’t a man to lie down and let the vultures descend on the rapidly gathering carrion of his career. Oh no. No no no. His first solo album Blizzard of Ozz featuring virtuoso shredder Randy Rhoads (who was incinerated in a plane crash all too soon) was a fantastic effort and propelled him into the heights of fame of which you can be blamed for ruining the younger generation. I’m talking about of course the controversy surrounding Suicide Solution from Blizzard of Ozz in which a clinically depressed teenager shot himself listening to the song and the parents of course wanted to shift the blame. Frivolous I know.

Guitar Hero veterans will be happy to know that such favourites as Mr. Crowley and Crazy Train appear on the record and both are high watermarks in the whole genre of heavy metal and showcase the fact that classical music and the modes contained within are incredibly similar and that there is a whole lot in common between the two genres. Except one is electrified and one isn’t. Crazy Train especially is a song that has stood the test of time and its enchanting aural musk can still be heard on a semi regular basis if you still have the patience to listen to your clock radios.
Blizzard of Ozz was arguably his high point from a commercial and critical point of view although they were a few other successes under the control of his imperious wife Sharon who was able to bring Ozzy back from the pits after his acrimonious exit from Sabbath largely due to the ties her dad had in the industry. A little bit of nepotism does go a long way.


Eric Clapton


Up in a select pantheon of people to outstrip their main band lies old slowhand otherwise known as everyone’s favourite drunken ranter and raver Eric Clapton. Originally apart of various pioneering bands such as The Yardbirds, (A band that gave us Jimmy Page and Jeff Beck) Cream and Derek and The Dominos, Clapton never really had a stable band that lasted as long as your Rolling Stones or your Shadows and has spent most of the past half of a century releasing his own work. That’s not to discount anything at all from Cream or any of the others as they are all their own separate chimichangas of joy. Especially Cream with its alternating vocalists. Kind of reminds you the Waters/Gilmour dynamic in Pink Floyd although without the white hot mutual animus and revulsion.
Fair enough some of the songs on his compendium of albums can give you the same reaction and comportment as you’d get from sitting on a flaccid cock, but when he’s on top of his game like on ‘Layla’ or on ‘Sunshine Of Your Love’ or on ‘Tears in Heaven’ he is the top of his class like a soigné Stradivarius. Or to put it in guitar terms, he is like an Ibanez JEM. A refined and ambrosial musician. A Lamborghini purring along.

Compared to your Jason Becker’s and your Yngwie Malmsteen’s he doesn’t quite have the same ability to perform fretboard pyromancy so he is instead more revered and respected for his tone. In particular the so called ‘woman tone’ that was played on a Gibson SG and a prime example of this is in the Cream song ‘Sunshine Of Your Love’  in both solos of the song. He’s also remembered for how he has influenced those who followed his lead as he charged through life with a sword in one hand and a torch in the other.


Lou Reed


Lou Reed, the recently departed doyen of rock and the esoteric is perhaps one of the most influential musicians of all time. Playing at first with The Velvet Underground, this band was amazingly versatile changing from the avant garde, to the folky and even to the melodic pop hook laden. Just like an acoustic chameleon.

At the time of the first release from Velvet Underground, the one with the banana on the front which was produced by Andy Warhol, such lyrical subject matter such as smack addiction and sexual tomfoolery sent a shockwave of salacity through the flimsy, piss soaked moral scaffolding of the time which were exceedingly prudish compared to today where the elderly will have you believe all manners of deviancy and sinful behaviour occurs. Songs released with titles as subtle as ‘Heroin’ were monolithically bold moves back in 1967 and morally reprehensible to the moral codes of the time. Kind of like lighting a bushfire in the middle of gethsemane as Jesus’s disciples run around in flames like little shrilly ululating comets, split across the cosmos glowing and radiant.

One of the greatest bands of all time unfortunately had a quite frankly fucking retarded death or euthanizing or however you view it in which everyone quit except one man being Doug Yule who rather admirably decided to solider on and record everything himself. Transformer is easily his most famous work and it’s easy to see why, being produced by David Bowie’s well informed ears it has a very glam influence about it and continues the theme of Mister Reed’s tendency to write socially transgressive lyrics including a summary of the tales of the pop art circus that went on at Andy Warhol’s studio in perhaps his most famous song ‘Walk On The Wild Side’.

All in all, if someone ever says to you they have never heard of Lou Reed, I give you permission to look down on them with a vitrifying, basiliscan glare of patrician disdain.


Jello Biafra


Apart from being named after a short lived African sham republic and fighting the good fight against the frothy mouthed convocation of wowsers and conservative moral extremists at the PMRC who painted a venomous and carcinogenic misinterpretation of popular music and especially the lyrics encased within, Jello Biafra also fronted the punk band The Dead Kennedys.

The lyrics that come from this man do speak of a certain degree of cerebral aptitude and a perennial quest to give birth to some morbidly iconoclastic satire. Ranging from making comparisons of then California governor Jerry Brown to a certain Nazi powerbroker all the way to rounding up and irradiating the poor, painting a hugely hyperbolic, but mildly accurate picture of the political arena in the 1980’s.

After The Dead Kennedys slowly withered and decomposed, Jello went down the path of a more demagogical Kevin Bloody Wilson and started performing spoken word routines with a spicy hot undercarriage of political sentiments which you will find are good value. They are also influenced by his ding-dong battle for supremacy with Tipper Gore and the rest of the PMRC and censorship attempts as a whole, ranging from campaigns to ban the teaching of evolution in American schools to disc jockey Alan Freed’s arrest for allegedly inciting a riot with a few innocuous comments which thankfully wasn’t the precursor to an Orwellian takeover of some sort.

The most recent foray into the creative arts from him which was a return to hardcore punk was The Guantanamo School of Medicine which mainly focuses on the jingoistic, nonsensical bedlam that can be described as American foreign policy and could be seen as a modern day reincarnation of The Dead Kennedys. (As you might have guessed from the name)



Audioslave


Grunge met funk in the resulting encounter which proved to be extraordinarily erotic and romantic, bred something moderately sexy named Audioslave which could also be considered a supergroup although all the members except Chris Cornell of Soundgarden fame came from Rage Against The Machine. Tom Morello’s unconventional style of playing the guitar and tendency to play in Drop B (Yes that’s right. Drop B) contributed to their unique sound. If you haven’t been introduced to Tom Morello, he’s a fantastically innovative player often making sounds that you’d otherwise think would be coming from a synth pad or a turntable. Prime examples of this are in the songs ‘Gasoline’ and ‘Like A Stone’ along with all those songs from Rage Against The Machine that are as dizzying as they are beauteous.

Lacking the lefty leaning political outlook that was prominent in Rage Against The Machine for the most part, it was inevitable that anything involving Tom Morello would no doubt get that way eventually and the boot was stuck into the administration of Bush Jr. over many things, most notably being Iraq War II and the slack, gastropod like reaction in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. But with both Soundgarden and Rage Against the Machine deciding to reform and return to touring the world, it looks unlikely that Audioslave will get back and add to their three albums any time soon, if ever. REST IN PEACE. AVE ET VALE.



Mr. Bungle


I could probably make another article on side projects involving side projects from Mike Patton but this one is definitely his best but not even close to the weirdest. Which is saying something as this band is quite simply crazier than wanking with a fistful of shit. Transcending and cartwheeling chaotically through several genres including but not limited to spaghetti western, film scores, traditional Middle Eastern music and lounge with relative ease although not always with too much thought which gives you an idea of the diversity within. 

These cycles through the genres can occur through the course of a single song which is again like a chameleon, but perhaps a chameleon that is somewhere on the spectrum. Bungle began as a high school death metal band that somehow survived despite Patton touring and recording simultaneously with Faith No More and the other members such as the prodigiously talented Trey Spruance having a bevy of other bands to contend with. They got their first album out and whether or not Faith No More’s success helped them off the ground will divide opinion but what was contained on the debut seemed as if it was written by Kokopelli himself and an interesting choice of samples. Yes one of these is from a porno.

Not an easily accessible band by any means, but the craft in creating such a disparate and perplexing labyrinth of noise or a sonic smorgasbord if you will, cannot be understated and maybe the closest classification you could give this is maybe jazz on amphetamines so it’s definitely worth a look. To truly appreciate a work of art, one must do more than simply give the piece a glance and move on. To do this you’d have to d̶o̶w̶n̶l̶o̶a̶d̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶f̶ ̶p̶i̶r̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶b̶a̶y̶ purchase their work from your local record store as hearing this lot on the radio would be the subversive equivalent of breaking into a Bullingdon meeting and donkey punching everyone there.


A Perfect Circle


A Perfect Circle could also be considered a supergroup and with Maynard James Keenan involved in proceedings, it means that things are bound to get profoundly profound. Don’t let that make you think that this is just Tool wearing a beige sweater though. 
A Perfect Circle is completely different basket of wombats and offers a more melodic exposition that doesn’t require the mental dynamism one needs to take Tool in fully. Considering that the main composer is Billy Howerdel, originally the guitar tech for Adam Jones it makes perfect sense that there is a difference in sound and content so it can be considered more an industrial pursuit along the lines of Nine Inch Nails in quite a few songs.


The future for A Perfect Circle is shrouded in mystery and there hasn't been a new album in a decade (apart from a greatest hits compilation. Pah.) despite being on the touring circle and even co-headlining Soundwave in 2013 you’d have to think that this is just another fossil in the landscape to be found by a budding young archaeologist of sorts looking for new tunes. Would love to be proven wrong although it’s a bit of a long shot, although as of recently they are still doing the rounds and touring about the land like minstrels and playing old material and covers at festivals and various shows so who knows what’s going to happen next. Probably nothing.


Article By.  P. Ogisi