After two years of wearing cardboard boxes
as helmets, blowing up makeshift pillows and hearing the words “down, down,
down, down”, I would like to think I have had my fair share of experiences,
with good and bad mixtures with our most reliable form of liquor. I mean, it
practically runs through most of our veins. In all honesty, the stuff doesn’t
taste too great on its own. But when it comes to price, alcohol content and
volume; you won’t find a better alternative!
So for your next Wednesday pre-session,
weekend house party or if your just keen to celebrate the arrival of Summer
without breaking the bank, check out the list below for your Uni-style
bartenders guide! Best part is, none of these recipes will cost you over
$15.00!
Here are some of the things you will need
to get the mix started:
- A bucket, punch bowl, bathtub or my personal favorite: the vegetable crisper from the fridge
- A large mixing spoon
- Plastic cups
- Ice
-
1 - "Fruit Lexia, Makes You Sexia"
Hit up your local Aldi, Woolies or Coles
and grab yourself some cheap bottles of apple and black currant juice! Fruity Lexia is very sweet when it comes
to the goon varieties, take advantage of this and use something without heaps
of sugar or that is slightly sour! It might not sound too fantastic, but this
mix has sustained me plenty a’ lighty nights and is still my numero uno when it
comes to a solid goon mix!
The golden rule with mixing Fruity Lexia is for every four litres of
goon, one and a half litres of mixer is the maximum. Bring out the inner
connoisseur by still being able to taste the alcohol!
2 – "Sangria That Will Have You Speaking Spanish"
This recipe was given to me by a Spaniard I
met in Switzerland; her advice was “for every litre of red wine (goon), mix two
litres of lemonade or less – preferably less”. This mixture is delicious, plus
it came from a Spaniard, so you know it’s legit! Grab a sack of your favourite
red goon, alongside some bottles of lemonade and start mixing.
The aromas will hit you right away, but
don’t stop there. Purchase a blend of your favourite fruits, (apricots, plums
and peaches are suggested) dice and core them, then add to the mixture. Leave
in the fridge to chill for two to three hours and when your mates arrive, great
them with a friendly: “Que Passa”!
3 – "Orange Goouice"
A mix of dry-white goon and orange juice is
a match made in heaven. A lack of sweetness in the dry-white, combined with the
massive amounts of sugar and acidity in the orange juice makes this a delicious
drop. We are all on a budget, but, a half-decent bottle of OJ will take this
mix to the next level. On average, a goon sack will cost you $10.00. That’s
$5.00 left for a good bottle of Oj. Treat yourselves… you cheap bastards.
4 – "Stoneweek Special"
The pinnacle of semester two for all UC
students is stone week. A week that in regards to participation, outdoes all
tutorials throughout the year combined. The following recipe is to commemorate
this special week and also provide a mix that can be drank consecutively
without feeling the need the hide under your bed and never participate in
society again.
Fruity
Lexia, dry white, or anything in the white variety
will work for this recipe, but red is way too strong. Buy a couple of bottles
of lemon flavoured mineral water and mix together in a large bucket. The ratio
of goon to mixer is lower in this recipe, and thus can be handled easier for
longer periods of time. Once you feel you have surpassed hangover level 100,
add larger quantities of goon as needed.
As for the rest of the week:
Eat,
Goon, Sleep, Repeat.
Article By. Daniel Anlezark
Whenever alcohol is involved, remember to look after yourself and your friends. Drink in moderation, and remember that goon is potent.